I belong to a couple of moms groups in New York City. One in Chelsea and one in Brooklyn Heights. The groups are very different but one thing is consistent: the shame women express about failing to breastfeed.

Now is a particular time in the history of breastfeeding, when the pendulum approaches an extreme. At least in New York City, which admittedly was the heir to billionaire mayor Bloomberg's Latch On campaign. Maybe it's not a big deal in other parts of the country.

Being in a breastfeeding dogma moment in my life means getting zero guidance from the hospital for how to use formula. No explanation of the ingredients of different formulas, no recommendations, no tips about nipples or bottles. Nothing.

Latch On, a boon to an army of "lactation consultants" armed with homeopathic herbs and breast pump rental companies, perhaps did encourage a few bourgeois women to breastfeed during their FMLA break. Who did not benefit? Well meaning women who can't breastfeed for anatomical or economic reasons.

As I volunteered the fact that I am a formula user in my mom's groups, a few women have approached me privately to ask me how to do the formula. In the spirit of sharing information with other moms, here is my response:

I use Philips Avent bottles. My child was an excellent boob latcher, and rejected most bottles. Initially I tried the Mimijumi, but I found the flow way too fast. In my experience, the Avent nipple shape was the most authentic for him.

Avent bottles have graduated nipples 0, 1, 2, etc. from slowest to fastest. My LO is on #2 and he is a mature 10 weeks (born at 41.5 weeks). We started him on slower nipples.

My husband bought 8 oz and 4 oz bottles. We mix formula batches in 8 oz and feed in 4 oz. I bought a large ProPur filter on Amazon for the water. ProPur filter removes everything including fluoride and chlorine. I don't boil the water as NYC water is potable.

I don't throw used formula away unless it's >5 hours old and hasn't been sitting in the heat for hours. Basically if it's milk that I would still drink myself, I keep it. If it has gotten just too warm, I toss it.

Kiinde bottle warmer warms the formula. But baby will drink it cold or room temperature, he doesn't care. I always burp the baby halfway through feeding even if he gets angry. Bottle feeding really makes burping an absolute necessity...definitely worth mentioning.

I feed little one half Holle and half Gerber Goodstart. Gerber is more whey protein rather than casein (cows milk) so it's less constipating. I like the Holle because it doesn't contain soy lecithin, which is an emulsifier, which can have negative effects. Soy lecithin is an essential compound for certain metsbolisms though so I am ok with some.

Holle doesn't contain extra DHA (omega 3), which is itself controversial. Some sources say omega 3 is very healthy for brain and eye development. Other sources say that the chemical process for producting DHA produces toxic byproducts. I'm not sure which to believe, so I try to vary.

The Gerber Good Start has GREAT packaging. Americans may sell you a toxic waste hotdog but you can bet it will be in the best damn packaging available. I use an empty Gerber package for my Holle.

Im not saying that Gerber is toxic waste, but let's just say that it's not a freakish coincidence that the bourgeois women in my mom's groups most all buy Holle, because we all distrust food and agriculture in their own country. Holle is a Swiss brand only available for purchase in Germany.

I figure that most things can be good and bad for you depending on quantities consumed. Using two different formulas will decrease the chances of overexposure to some ingredient which turns out to be bad for you. My little squeaky mcsqueaks loves both formulas regardless.

I hope this is helpful for people who use formula.