Gender Negativity

I wanted to add an update to this post, to hopefully soften the tone a bit. If you know me, you know that I am an overflowing cup of passion. Personally, I cannot think of many things more evil than a medical system in which countless middle class kids (and adults) don't have health insurance, while others kids are steered into medical procedure pipelines that end in sterilization and permanent disfigurement. I don't know how to talk about this subject dispassionately.

To be clear, I am not denying the existence of trans people. I don't even ascribe to binary gender. I think what the medical community does to intersex babies is fully insane, and is worse than the female genital mutilation practices of retrograde Muslim societies, which "Western" elites so love to use as an unassailable example of the failings of moral relativity. Trans people have every right to get whatever treatments they see fit. But I draw the line, and I draw a hard line, at doing irreversible things to children, like it's no big deal.

A few months ago, I had an argument with my husband about the whole "trans thing," and this blog post was a reaction to that argument. At the time, I said to him, "I don't want to wait for the data on this, but when the data comes out in 10-15 years, it's going to be harrowing. We are keeping our kids the f**k away from these therapists, almost at all cost." He thought I was being overly dramatic, but it is already looking like I was not dramatic enough.

Exhibit A: The story of Jamie Reed, who describes herself as, "A queer woman, and politically to the left of Bernie Sanders." Her entire career was based on providing counseling to vulnerable people. In an article in The Free Press, published in February of 2023, Ms. Reed came out as a whistleblower against the institutionalized practice of "gender affirming care." Her work in gender clinic gave her a broad and intimate view into the crimes being perpetrated against children. This is not a Left vs. Right issue. If you read the article, you will see that it is just what I said it would be. Vulnerable girls, often with comorbidities like ADHD, OCD, bipolar disorder, autism, etc. are being steered into the trans path.

Sweden and Finland, and other European countries, have already but the breaks on "gender affirming care." As with every horrific practice, I suspect that the United States will be last among "developed" nations to reverse course. I grew up in the liberal elites bubble as an outsider. I can tell you that the current focus on gender as a sort of moral crusade is pushed by liberal elites, who have never known material privation, or the humiliation of low social status. These are people who would never reform restrictive zoning, but they're ready and willing to send your daughters to the butcher, for the sake of "Justice." These people are spinning their wheels in a friction-less, irrelevant, and dystopian reality. Do not be fooled.

In any case, here is the original blog post:

There is a standing army of therapists ready and willing to steer all of the outliers into permanent medicalization. Nowadays, there is a lot more scrutiny on adderol abuse and ADHD has sort of become a passing fad. The next big topic in therapy is the trans identity. Let's be clear, some miniscule portion of the population has an incompatible gender module, whatever that ultimately means. But that is not common. Trans people have existed in some form in every society. They are not common. Does that mean they should be forced to be "normal"? Obviously not.

We need to deconstruct gender. We need to do that very badly. But I fear that these "projects," are foisted upon the general populace by a small number of folks with huge brains and small wallets, whose skills ultimately get coopted for profit. Adderol sales have flatlined. So now Merck is going to sell your kid hormones. One day they will realize that they are now sterile. Should they be so lucky as to meet a suitable mate, and attempt a family, even though that is wildly out of reach financially for the vast majority of people, they will have to reckon with the purposelessness of a life without children. Frankly, they may never know the beauty that was stolen from them.

Societal castration used to not be subtle at all. Then we had an "Enlightenment," right? The whole arc of justice thing? Once again societal castration doesn't seem so subtle these days. Something is very wrong when your son or daughter, who felt a little anxious about something (rightfully and understandably), is literally castrated by a "therapist," because said therapist needs to pay off his medical school loans and mortgage debt. He was hoping to be a surgeon, so he could lavish his children in the type of fuck-you money that confers invincibility onto its custodians, but it turned out he was at the bottom of his class, and becoming a psychiatrist was just easier.

When you're a psychiatrist, the hours are better than surgery. More "work/life" balance. The pay isn't great. But hey! You can make that up with pharma kickbacks. They will wine and dine you if you push their forever drugs onto desperately sad teenagers. Every mind, every soul, every warm bodied creature out there, who can still feel something, who still has faith, who still feels joy, needs to be smothered. Needs to be submitted to a "regimen" of pills. Needs to be led down an endless labyrinth of fees and fixes for fixes for fixes.

We are so used to the idea that pro-natalism is bad because it's Christian and Christians are fascist. Truly. I remember working for a private banker, a woman, who only had one child, and she trashed a male colleague behind his back for having five kids. "What does he think his wife is, a farm animal?" I am not even going to name the examples. If you are a liberal raised in a metro area these days, you pick up on the idea that having children is somehow tiresome or gross. Your boss on the trading floor doesn't really want you to have children, which is why they make it as punishing as legally possible for you to have them. That is societal castration.

Maybe your smart two sigma-brained teenage daughter started crashing when she hit puberty, because she saw something. Something really fucking bad. Maybe it was online porn. Maybe it was a movie. Something convinced her that being desirable in a "feminine" way was not an identity she could inhabit. And I get that. We should all get that. Think about it for a second. That is someone. That is a person.

Like, the moaning gyrating women, who you're out there jacking off to, are often poor or otherwise disadvantaged women, often opiate addicts, whose dreams of making it big in Hollywood are a distant memory. A memory replaced by the smell of lube, sweat, and feces. A dream replaced by torn anuses and colostomy bags. Rather than wonder why a self-respecting person may be reluctant to embrace femininity, you should put your dick back in your pants and wash your hands.

Let's say you don't watch porn. Good for you. You probably have attended countless events where women wear high heels, right? Have you ever tried on these "shoes"? Because they're not shoes. They're torture devices. The norm is a 3-inch heel, but even a two inch heel is pretty bad. In any case, why is it considered generally acceptable and delightful for half of prime age adults to be walking around wearing disabling and ridiculous shoes? And why is it somehow insane for me to even point this out? "Oh it's not that bad." Yes. Yes it is. Heels are unbelievably awful. And yet, even I will admit that they look nice. Because so much of femininity just is a performance of submission, which is aesthetically pleasing.

My best friend in college turned out to be trans. She is a he now. Is he happier? No. As far as I can tell, the joy that I knew him to have has been replaced with an almost unbearable seriousness. He struggled mightily with his gender, but only because of the way the world is. He was not a pretty woman. Online and in teenage settings, he would have been ridiculed for having saggy tits and cellulite, even a faint mustache. The attention from men that he deserved, just never came. I have seen him flirt with guys. Very much so. When he was a she, I witnessed her giggle and blush around every handsome gentle-giant that I took home. She, at the time, was clearly very feminine to me. I could have done a nude oil painting of her that would be stunning.

Because I was pretty in the way that I was supposed to be, I was able to attract the rare high-value men who might have treated her with the dignity and respect that she deserved. She was so smart, so talented, so very feminine, but just not pretty in the way that she was supposed to be. I was at very least pretty in the right way (though just barely, and not without disqualifying deformity, which is another blog post entirely). Usually pretty girls are only friends with other pretty girls. But I was different in my soul, and thank god, thank god, strong enough to keep myself.

We need to make femininity something bearable. It is absolutely unbearable, even to the women who "win" the rigged-game prize of passing. That is the task. In no way can it be the task that we ought to instead steer women and men to destroy their bodies when they fail to perform like the women or men we see in movies, media, and pornography. Those actors are with the outliers. They are on our side. It is someone else entirely paying them to enact the twisted fantasies of someone (or something) else entirely. It is dark as shit, and it needs to die.